April 12th 2007

Hi you all, I want to thank Newsday and my friend Ken for choosing one of my jokes on the paper, it is a real honor for me and it certainly made my day!! Thanks a lot.
http://www.newsday.com/news/opinion/ny-oppun5167592apr12,0,6791571.story


Imus
Prosecutors have decided to drop all charges against three Duke Lacrosse players accused of sexually assaulting a stripper at a team party because they believe the stripper made it all up and was just looking for a quick buck. Yesterday, to avoid any trouble, Imus referred to her as a long-straight-cascading hair, libertine coquetting temptress.

MSNBC announced that the cable TV simulcast of Don Imus radio show has been terminated for good. MSNBC executives emphasized that it has nothing to do with Imus’ latest racial comments, but rather with the fact that he looks too ugly for TV.

The fallout from Don Imus racial comment continued yesterday when Santa Clause announced he is going to rehab for the repeated use of the greeting: Ho Ho Ho!

Immigrant March
Hundreds marched yesterday in Seattle in an attempt to bring attention to the fact that children of illegal aliens are left alone when their parents are imprisoned on raids against illegals. Ironically hundreds of American children were left alone yesterday when most of their nannies were at the march.

McCain
Sen. John McCain 's troubled presidential campaign slashed some non-senior staff positions and cut some consultants' contracts. That proves what McCain is being saying repeatedly
that the Baghdad market is safer than some places in America.

Bank robbery
According to the FBI, banks in Seattle cut bank robberies in half by being really nice to potential robbers. What is even better about this strategy is that the other half that still robs the bank decides to deposit the money back there because they are pleased with the service.

In other news
Lindsay Lohan, Kate Moss and Kelly Osbourne have joined forces to help each other battle their addictions. They are now known as "Charlie’s Angel DUSTS"

According to some rumors in the web, Michael Jackson is working with 50 Cent. Jackson’s agent said that it is true Michael is working with 50 Cent, not the famous rapper thought. 50 Cents is the budget Michael was given to produce his next album.