April 18th 2007

White House
Two Secret Service officers were injured on Tuesday after a gun held by another Secret Service officer accidentally fired inside the White House gate. This is a clear example of how things have changed at the White House. A while ago an accidental discharge meant something totally different.

Two Secret Service officers were injured on Tuesday after a gun held by another Secret Service officer accidentally fired inside the White House gate. It took a while for security to call 911 because they all thought Cheney was practicing shooting lawyers.

Mitt Romney
GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney, the republican who raised the most money so far in the campaign, was among the candidates who spent the lowest percentage of income during the quarter. According to Romney, he saves tons of money because he hunts his own food and enough for all his staff.

John Edwards
According to a financial report filed with the Federal Election Commission, Democratic presidential candidate, John Edwards, paid $400 for two haircuts at a Beverly Hills salon. I guess when the only thing you have similar to J F Kennedy is the good looking hair, you’d better take good care of it.

Last night millions of Americans filed their taxes. You know who requested an extension? John Edwards! …on his hair….

Nigeria
Nigeria has the second-lowest sexual frequency of any country in the world. Nigerians are trying to improve, not because they care about their sexual reputation, but because they need to catch up with American Celebrities’ babies demand.

Boston Marathon
Kenyan Robert Cheruiyot won the Boston Marathon with an unofficial time of 2 hours, 14 minutes, 13 seconds. Apparently he was running away from Angelina Jolie who just wanted to adopt him.

Donation
Hugh Hefner contributed $2,300, the maximum allowed in the primary, to Hillary Clinton’s campaign on March 28. It is just a way to pay back for all the money Bill has spent throughout the years buying his magazine.

Jennifer Garner
Jennifer Garner said that life with her 16-month-old daughter is so joyful that she feels "intoxicated" when she's with her. Actually Gardner is intoxicated by the stench of Ben Affleck’s movies.