May 13th 2007

Iraq
The Bush administration admitted that success in Iraq means a country with relative peace because zero car-bombing is virtually impossible in Iraq. The least we can hope for is that the cars used for car-bombings are Hybrids.

Following a pentagon briefing president Bush answered questions about the need for a change in Iraq and said that there are two clocks ticking one in Washington and one in Iraq. He was immediately corrected by a General who said that in Iraq there are hundred of clocks ticking a day, mostly located in cars and backpacks.

Three-limbed driver
A man who lost his two arms and one leg in a childhood accident and went on to become the Tampa Florida area's most notorious bad driver is jailed in lieu of $500,000 bond. He’s got the money and he would love to pay the bond but unfortunately all his money is in his pockets.

A man who lost his two arms and one leg in a childhood accident and went on to become the Tampa Florida area's most notorious bad driver is jailed in lieu of $500,000 bond. He said he is not a little bit worried about going to jail, because there’s no chance he’ll pick any soap in the showers.

A man who lost his two arms and one leg in a childhood accident was arrested Wednesday morning, the day after he led police on a high-speed chase and was able to escape. The cops were impressed with the three-limbed man’s skills to drive and the fact that while driving he was text-messaging his girlfriend.