May 7th 2007

Secret Service Protection
Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama, has been placed under the protection of the Secret Service, the agency said Thursday. Apparently when Rudy Giuliani asked for extra protection, the secret service provided him with a box of condoms.

Hasselhoff
Entertainment Tonight aired a video that depicts an inebriated DavidHasselhoff, clad only in blue jeans, lying on the floor of a room andclumsily eating a hamburger. People started suspecting he had an alcohol problem when he said his car was talking to him.

Paris Hilton
A judge sentenced Paris Hilton to 45 days in jail on Friday for violating her probation. According to legal experts Hilton will more than likely be segregated from the general population in jail, not because she is a celebrity, but rather because they are afraid the inmates can catch various diseases from her.

Boxing match
FightFloyd Mayweather Jr. beat Oscar de la Hoya in a split decision. It waspromoted as the fight between "The Golden Boy Vs. The Pretty Boy" and the publicity worked, because Marc
Foley and Michael Jackson both got tickets on first row.

Hillary
HillaryFormer president Bill Clinton is helping his wife Hillary to raise moneycharging up to $2,300 dollars to those who want to hear him speak. Hillary is charging double for those who do not want to hear her.

eBay
WifeA Brazilian man offered his wife for sale on eBay for $50. He even offered to pay cash.

Home Depot
Home Depot is planning to offer smaller stores in areas where bigger stores aren't practical. The New Home Depot will accommodate no more than 2 to 3 illlegals waiting to be hired in their parking lot.

Gravity
Alexander Loucopoulos proposed Saturday to his girlfriend G, a 27-year-old space enthusiast, on a 90-minute zero-gravity flight aboard a Boeing 727. They both will definitely miss zero-gravity a couple of years into the marriage when things start falling.

Lust in Translation
According to Pamela Druckerman, author of "Lust in Translation,” Americans outdid the French when it came to cheating. The book states that Americans grew more tolerant on practically every major sexual issue from having a child out of wedlock to divorce and homosexuality. Apparently the survey was done only among Republican presidential candidates.