May 14th 2007

Fake Attack
Staff members of an elementary school staged a fictitious gun attack on students during a class trip, telling them it was not a drill as the children cried and hid under tables. Apparently the kids were not as scared of the shooter as they were of Geraldo and a swarm of reporters showing up to cover the story later.

Iraq
The Iraqi Parliament decided Friday to take a two-month vacation as American troops patrol the streets. It seems that president Bush has done a great job making the Iraqi parliament look more and more like our congress.

Congress
Congress' approval rating is down to 35%. Or as President Bush calls it "the good old days."

Paris
According to several tabloids Paris Hilton was advised to take self –defense classes to face her days in jail. Apparently Paris refused to take self-defense classes because she said she is sure she won’t attack herself.

Nudist
Solair Recreation League, a nudist camp in northeastern Connecticut, is offering deep discounts to young people to join the nudist camps. They charge $150 for college students, $300 for people younger than 40 and $500 for people older than 40. It seems that if you are Mick Jagger you will probably end up paying a fortune.