June 21st 2007

Hey a big, huge thanks to my amigo Ken and the people of Newsday for publishing a couple of my jokes, I haven't been this happy since yesterday when Boca Juniors beat Gremio of Brasil for Copa Libertadores!!!! a complete beautiful day, thanks to Boca, Ken and Newsday!!!
http://www.newsday.com/search/ny-oppun215263756jun21,0,180328.story

Bush
A new poll has indicated that US President George W Bush's approval ratings dropped to 29 per cent, his lowest mark ever. If that wasn't bad enough for the president, wait until he finds out the survey was conducted in Albania.
Smelly Plane

On a recent Continental Airlines flight from Amsterdam to Newark passengers had to suffer through a long trip with sewage flowing down the isle. That prompted Hollywood to work on a new movie idea: "Turds on a plane"

On a recent Continental Airlines flight from Amsterdam to Newark passengers had to suffer through a long trip with sewage flowing down the isle. Apparently, last time there were so many turds on a plane was when Continental flew an entire lawyer convention.

Bloomberg
Yesterday was World Refugee Day, a day to remember those people who escape disaster to try to settle in a new place, just like Michael Bloomberg leaving the GOP.

The Price is Right
Rosie O’Donnell could be the next host of The Price is Right. She suggested some changes though: male models, new games and a new name: "I hate the Right."

Vatican
The Vatican released its Ten Commandments of Driving in which they encourage you to pray while you drive: Our Father who art in heaven… don’t let Lindsay Lohan or Billy Joel cross my path on my way to work....

The Vatican released its Ten Commandments of Driving in which they encourage you to pray while you drive. That is exactly what we need to do: add one more task on top of text messaging, applying make up and drinking hot coffee.

The Vatican released its Ten Commandments of Driving in which they encourage you to pray while you drive; to pray your car won’t break down, especially if you are driving a Ford.

The Web
Writer Andrew Keen has released a book in which he expresses a polemic and conservative view of how the Internet is ruining our culture. If you want to find more information about the author please do not Google his name because you mostly get pages of kinky sex.

Market
Yesterday the market dropped 146 points. There was a stampede of investors selling their stocks from the alcohol companies when they found out Lindsay Lohan cancelled her birthday party.