June 13th 2007

The Sopranos
12 millions of Americans who saw the end of "The Sopranos" are still obsessively debating whether Tony Soprano died in the last episode or is still alive. Some people claim to have seen Tony at a gas station with Elvis Presley.

Alcohol
According to new data from the World Health Organization, Americans only rank fortieth, worldwide, in alcohol consumption. The number will increase significantly as soon as they free Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan leaves rehab.

Sleep Problems
According to a recent study more 70 million Americans suffer from some kind of sleep disorder. Most of them cannot sleep because they have been awaken by stupid phone calls about a research on sleep disorder.

According to a research abstract that will be presented Wednesday at the 21st Annual Meeting of the Associated Professional Sleep Societies , college students who go to bed late are more likely to have poor quality sleep, which may affect their academic performance; unless they go to bed with their professors.

Paris
During an interview with Barbara Walters, Paris Hilton said that she is reading several spiritual books during her time in jail. And like her time in jail she cries and call mom because she cannot finish a short sentence.

Books
Bookstore sales dropped 6.0% in April, according to estimates released by the Census Bureau this morning. Apparently it is hard to convince Americans to read when so many new books have the picture of Hillary on the cover.

Bush
President Bush visited Capitol Hill yesterday to have lunch with Republican senators in an attempt to revive the immigration reform bill. If some of the senators start to get thin and loose their hair we know exactly what kind of information Vladimir Puttin shared with Bush at the G8 summit.