June 8th 2007

Paris Hilton
After serving only three full days behind bars, Paris Hilton was released from jail early Thursday just the same day she dared take her first shower. Apparently neither the guards nor the inmates could stand her singing in the shower.

After serving only three full days behind bars, Paris Hilton was released from jail early Thursday. She said her treatment wasn’t different because she was a celebrity, then she sped off driving herself a White Bronco without wearing a seatbelt.

In a written statement, Paris Hilton said she has learned a great deal from her time in jail, like making wine in the toilet.

Not everything was good news for Paris Hilton yesterday. Apparently her Chihuahua had to stay in Jail after it joined a Latino gang in prison.

Paris Hilton was released from Jail and will spend the rest of her sentence wearing an electronic bracelet on her ankle or as Hillary calls it: "The Equator."

Parties
Last night the U.S. suffered a first and rare shortage of kegs. Apparently there were not enough kegs to supply the huge parties at Paris Hilton’s house celebrating her release and Lou Dobb’s house celebrating the failure of the immigration reform bill.