August 20th 2007

Elvira Arellano
Elvira Arellano, an illegal immigrant who sought sanctuary in a Chicago church to avoid deportation and separation from her 8-year-old American son, was arrested Sunday while leaving a church in LA. Now that she is incarcerated all the priests in LA are fighting over to offer sanctuary to Elvira’s 8-year-old son.

Elvira Arellano, an illegal immigrant who sought sanctuary in a Chicago church to avoid deportation and separation from her 8-year-old American son, was arrested Sunday while leaving a church in LA. Apparently she traveled to LA to seek sanctuary at the mayor’s house.

Karl Rove
During a TV interview Karl Rove said that Hillary Clinton won’t win the next elections because she is a divider, unlike his former employer president Bush who is a uniter, and united everybody in the world to hate him.

Superbad
The movie "Superbad" had a great opening weekend at the box office, mostly from Bush’s haters who thought "Superbad" was about the Bush administration.

Fidel Castro
President Fidel Castro celebrated his 81st birthday last Monday. The entirety of Cuba went into darkness the day of his birthday celebration because all the candles Cuba uses to light up the country ended up on Castros’ cake.

Michael Brown
Michael Brown, the former federal official who bore the brunt of criticism for the government's handling of Hurricane Katrina, is now offering disaster relief advice to several companies. Apparently companies hire him for advice and then they do exactly the opposite.

Michael Brown, the former federal official who bore the brunt of criticism for the government's handling of Hurricane Katrina, is now offering disaster relief advice to several companies. In a related story former president Bush’s advisor Karl Rove was hired to unite Israelis and Palestinians in the Middle East.

Dean
Hurricane Dean headed for Mexico on Monday, after battering Jamaica into a state of emergency by downing power lines, ripping off roofs and blocking roads with felled trees. This is not the first time Dean has caused so much disaster; apparently it also destroyed the Democratic chances to win the 2004 elections.