August 13th 2007

Mitt Romney
Mitt Romney said he "misspoke" when he suggested that his sons’ work on his presidential campaign was comparable to serving in the military in Iraq, because his sons actually have helmets and bulletproof vests.

Bush Vacation
President Bush called Barry Bonds last week to congratulate him for breaking the home-run record. Bush told Bond that he is about to break a similar record in August: the run-home record when he goes on vacation again.

President Bush is on his way to become the president that has taken more days off. Americans are really frustrated about it because he’s not taking enough days off.
According to a recent poll president Bush’s approval rating have gone up to 35 percent. They will immediately decrease as soon as he comes back from vacation.

Laura Bush and daughter Jenna will write a children's book this fall about a little boy who hates to read. It is called "Little Bush on vacation."

News
A poll says Americans feel news organizations are politically biased, are inaccurate and don't care about people. Unfortunately this poll was totally ignored by all the news organizations

Hillary
Hillary Clinton will work as a nurse at a Las Vegas hospital Monday to raise awareness on health care. Can you imagine how cold that enema is going to feel?

McCain
Republican presidential candidate John McCain finished last in the Iowa straw poll. Apparently as he doesn’t have any more campaign staff to fire, he might fire himself.

Republican presidential candidate John McCain finished last in the Iowa straw poll. It looks it could be McCain’s last straw poll.

Britney
According to the British tabloids Britney Spears is desperate to pose nude for Playboy and will take Hugh Heffner’s old offer of $1 million dollars. Heffner said the offer has changed slightly and he’ll pay to see her with clothes now.

According to the British tabloids Britney Spears is desperate to pose nude for Playboy. Hopefully her dog doesn’t go number two like in the last photo session because she won’t have a dress to clean the mess and she might have to use herself.

Winehouse
Amy Winehouse was hospitalized last week after an alleged three-day bender that reportedly included the consumption of whiskey, vodka, cocaine, ecstasy, a horse tranquilizer and heroin. American idol producers have finally found the right replacement for Paula Abdul.