August 14th 2007

Mitt Romney
During a TV interview Sunday, presidential candidate Mitt Romney made it clear he didn’t know he broke the law when he drove the car with the family dog enclosed in a kennel on top of his car . He said he learned the lesson and in the future he’ll leave his dog in Michael Vick’s doggy day care.

During a Sunday interview presidential candidate Mitt Romney confirmed the Boston Globe’s revelation about driving his dog on top of his car but justified it by saying the dog was in a kennel, not in open air, and he loves it. After that comment GITMO prisoners clinched nervously.

Karl Rove
Karl Rove, the political mastermind behind President Bush's races for the White House announced his resignation Monday. Rove said he wants to spend sometime with his family. Apparently his son is running for president of his University in Texas and he wants to help him steal the election.

Karl Rove, the political mastermind behind President Bush's races for the White House announced his resignation Monday. He said he‘ll go back to Texas to stay with his family and he’ll make money on the side not in politics but rather working in the penitentiary as an executioner.

Karl Rove, the political mastermind behind President Bush's races for the White House announced his resignation Monday. Papers reported that Bush’s brain abandoned him, although it looks like that had happened long time ago.

Death Row
On August 22nd, Texas will execute its 400th death row prisoner. They want to make this very special so Barry Bonds will be in charge of administering the lethal injection.

Goat
A man accused of having sex with a goat in Tacoma Washington said it was all a mistake. Apparently he heard his friends at the bar talking about messing with the nannies and he went for it. Besides, it is not like he did it with a kid, it was a female goat.

Voting
According to a latest poll, 60 percent of Americans did not vote in the last election and feel guilty about it. Apparently they are not happy with Jordin Sparks as a winner of American idol.

Endeavor.
NASA summoned a press conference yesterday to clarify to the press that the crew of Endeavour consists only of 7 members not 9. Apparently the confusion arouse when the Space Shuttle crew kept talking about Johnny and Jack.

NASA discovered a worrisome gouge on the Endeavour's belly soon after the shuttle docked with the international space station Friday. Experts believe it could be caused by ice that broke off the fuel tank a minute after liftoff or by some of the astronauts trying to insert the key in the wrong lock of the space shuttle.

The space shuttle crew might have to repair the craft's thermal tiles. Their outfits are specially designed to be able to leave the Space Shuttle for a while, fix the tiles and not show any butt crack while doing it.