August 16th 2007

Hey everybody one of my jokes is featured in today's edition of Newsday! Thanks to Newsday and my amigo Ken, it made my day.
http://www.newsday.com/news/opinion/ny-oppun5333598aug16,0,5677458.story

Toy Recall
Mattel recalled nine million more toys made in China Monday due to lead being found in them. Investigators believe it could be a sabotage organized by kids that wanted a PSPs instead of a stupid choo choo train or a lame doll.

Satisfied Americans
A surprising 94 percent of Americans say they are satisfied with their lives. Unfortunately, the survey was done among Americans that live in Canada.

A surprising 94 percent of Americans say they are satisfied with their lives. It is not a reliable survey though, as it was done with Americans while they were having lunch.

A surprising 94 percent of Americans say they are satisfied with their lives. Unfortunately, the survey was done last week when the market was over 14 000.

Virtual world
More and more Americans are spending time with their computers participating in virtual simulation worlds. Question: If I steal the IP of a computer to be part of a virtual simulation world, does that make me an illegal immigrant to the virtual world?

Hillary
Ellen DeGeneres will interview Hillary Clinton for the season premiere of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" on September 4th. The interview will probably consist of trashing Dick throughout the entire hour, Dick Cheney of course......

Ellen DeGeneres will interview Hillary Clinton for the season premiere of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" on September 4th. I bet you that that is not the threesome Bill dreamed of.

Karl Rove
Karl Rove told a reporter that the most regrettable moment of working with the Bush administration was getting turned into MC Rove at the Correspondents Association dinner. On a positive side, he can start a career in the world of rap; he’s got the gansta part nailed already.
Rove won’t have any problem becoming the next “50 cent;” there are tons of people that would like to shoot holes on him.

Russia
A Russian region of Ulyanovsk is giving every single worker September 12th off to get it on. They want to increase the Russian population which has a very low birth rate. Apparently the low rate is due to the fact that all hot Russian women are becoming mail-order brides to old fat American rich guys.

A Russian region of Ulyanovsk is giving every single worker September 12th off to get it on. They want to increase the Russian population which has a very low birth rate. The town tried this before but it failed miserably because Paris Hilton was in town and took care of every single Russian man and ruined everything.

George Michael
Earlier this week, George Michael began serving his 100 hours of community service. His service to the community includes some gardening, and Michael said he wouldn’t mind spending hours behind the bushes where he is known as the “leaf-blower."