October 10th 2007

Hillary Clinton
Hilary Clinton has finished her "Middle Class Express" bus tour all over America. Hillary called the Middle Class tour "express," because thanks to President Bush's economy it is a fast and short middle class tour.

One older man at the Dakota City, Iowa event, the last stop on Clinton's "Middle Class Express" bus tour, told Hillary Clinton that she should look more like Paris Hilton. Clinton agreed; not Hillary, Bill.

Hillary Clinton said she has given up her "baby bond" idea which would have given every baby born in the United States a $5,000 account to one day pay for college or a first home. Apparently, Hillary changed her mind because the idea had upset one of Bill Clinton’s most important supporters: Trojans.

Priest
An Italian priest, who publicly declared his love for a woman, has lost his job. He was the one that had the longest line of kids in the confessional booth.

Illegals
According to some new estimates, there may be as many as 38 million illegal immigrants. People were shocked to hear that, not so much for the huge number, but rather by the fact that with so many illegals out there the Yankees still could not find a decent pitcher this season.

Al Gore
A lot of people are saying Al Gore could win the Nobel Prize this Friday. His speeches are so powerful that is hard to start any violent act after the sleepy effect they have.

Ann Coulter
Right-wing pundit Ann Coulter told Sean Hannity, that she will vote Republican because she doesn’t want to be fitted for a burqa. Apparently she knows how difficult it is to find a burqa that would hide her big Adam’s apple.

Right-wing pundit Ann Coulter told Sean Hannity, that she will vote Republican because she doesn’t want to be fitted for a burqa. Apparently she doesn’t want to repeat the hassle she went through when she was fitted for her KKK outfit.

Alcohol
A migraine pill Topamax seems to help alcoholics taper off their drinking without detox treatment, researchers report. The drug costs at least $350 a month, a calculated price so that you don’t have any money left for booze.

A migraine pill Topamax seems to help alcoholics taper off their drinking without detox treatment, researchers report. The drug costs at least $350 a month, so after you are cured you start drinking again when you realize the dent in your budget.

A migraine pill Topamax seems to help alcoholics taper off their drinking without detox treatment, researchers report. The drug has many side effects like: drowsiness, dizziness, and itching, which are pretty much the same effects you get with the booze: the drowsiness and dizziness due to the alcohol, and the itching after you had sex with a stranger you picked up at the bar.