October 3rd 2007

Bin Laden
Homeland Security reported yesterday that there was a new video of Bin Laden, which showed Bin Laden and some of his people making nonsensical dialogue. Chertoff apologized later and said it was all a mistake; it was just a tape of the new ABC series "The Cavemen."

Blocks
According to researchers at the University of Washington in Seattle, playing with blocks helps young children gain language skills. I guess president Bush grew up playing tags.

According to researchers at the University of Washington in Seattle, playing with blocks helps young children gain oral skills. Apparently Paris Hilton once built a house of blocks almost the size of a real one.

O.J.
A judged ruled Tuesday that O.J. Simpson must hand over a Rolex watch of his to satisfy a civil judgment that found him liable for the deaths of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. The court order specifies a "Submariner Rolex Watch" which is water and stabbing resistant.

Bush
White House spokeswoman Dana Perino said President George W. Bush won’t accept an invitation to visit a university in Iran by the Iranian president. Bush expects to send an official declination with some B 52’s in the very near future.

Isiah Thomas
A jury ruled Tuesday that Isiah Thomas sexually harassed a female and that the New York Knicks’ owner and its chairman should pay the victim more than 11 million dollars in damages. Isiah was distraught. He knows now that after the new Kobe policy, he’ll also have to award his wife a $4 million dollar ring.

High-Carb Diet
A recent study shows that a high-carb diet may help you think faster. That explains why fat people always choose the fastest line at the buffet.

Kid Nation
TMZ says that "Kid Nation" producers are scouting foreign locations for a second season because in the U.S. everybody's worried about violating child labor laws. They already got several suggestions from Nike offering their facilities in Vietnam.