October 12th 2007

Friday leftovers......

Edwards
Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards said that a tabloid story claiming that he had an extramarital affair was untrue. Edwards added that he’s been in love with the same person for more than 30 years: himself.

Ear
Australian philosopher and performer Stelios Arcadiou has had an ear surgically implanted in his arm. That is exactly what we need, to give Dick Cheney more ideas for wiretapping.

Testing
A man who was apparently worried about a random drug test asked an 11-year-old boy at a mall for a urine sample. Unfortunately, the man later tested positive for meth, crack, and high doses of butterfinger bars.

Cold Medicines
Drug makers pulled cold medicines targeted for babies and toddlers off the market Thursday. Apparently, parents will once again be forced to calm down their kids the old fashion way: two shots of wine.

Al Gore
Vice president Al Gore won the Peace Noble Prize. It is definitely not for his contribution to combat hunger in the world.

Vice president Al Gore won the Peace Nobel Prize. His speeches are so powerful that it is hard to start any violent act after the sleepy effect they have.

Vice president Al Gore won the Peace Noble Prize for his work on Global Warming. He said he’ll use the $1.5 million dollar prize to buy the biggest pimped up SUV in the world.

Breaking News: Al Gore almost didn't win the Peace Noble Prize after a fight broke out when someone was trying to eat his croissant.

Breaking News Al Gore lost the Peace Noble Prize when organizers decided to do a recount.

Britney
Britney Spears, Kevin Federline, and their two sons reportedly all have pinkeye, an infection caused by bacteria in the eyelids. Apparently, the family kept rubbing their eyes in disbelief that both Britney and K-Fed recorded new albums.

Britney Spears was granted one overnight visit with her children per week, as long as they're accompanied by a court-appointed supervisor. Britney specifically requested that the supervisor be a well-built man in his 20’s and that he should bring a bunch of 40’s and a pack of camels.

Coming out
Yesterday was National Coming Out Day. To celebrate, people were touching their feet in every Airport stall in America.