October 15th 2007

Fidel Castro
Cuban leader Fidel Castro phoned Hugo Chavez during a Sunday broadcast of the Venezuelan president's television program. Castro called to see if he was the tenth caller to participate in the phrase that pays contest: "I Hate Americans."

NASCAR
Democratic Congressional staffers planning a junket to a NASCAR race in Raleigh on Friday got immunization shots for hepatitis, diphtheria, and tetanus. Republicans know better; they know you cannot have sex in a honey bucket.

Al Gore
After it was known Al Gore had won the Nobel Peace Prize, conservative right wingers went to the airwaves in a crusade to destroy, butcher, and quash the organizers of the awards for giving it to Al Gore. And then they wonder why none of them was nominated for the Peace prize.

Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize and added another award to an impressive collection of prizes he has won this year. Gore won the Oscars, the Emmys and by the way he looks now, it is obvious he won the 2007 4th of July Nathan’s hotdog eating contest.

President Bush congratulated Al Gore for winning the Nobel Peace Prize. The president also said that he’s been exercising pretty hard so maybe next year he can win the Nobel Prize for Physics.

Dentistry
A dentist accused of fondling the breasts of 27 female patients claims dental journals discuss the need to massage the pectoral muscles to treat a common jaw problem. In other news Bill Clinton dropped his charity tours to study dentistry.

Rice
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice opened an intense round of Mid-East shuttle diplomacy Sunday, to seek consensus between Israelis and Palestinians. It’s hard for Rice to try to close that gap between Israel and Palestine when she cannot even close the gap between her teeth.

Imus
Radio host Don Imus has secured a deal returning him to the airwaves on December. Apparently he chose December so he can utter Ho Ho Ho as Santa and get away with it.