October 17th 2007

Gossip
A new study found that gossip is more powerful than truth, suggesting people believe what they hear through the grapevine even if they have evidence to the contrary. In other news, Fox News just reported that we won the war in Iraq, Bush is the smartest president in history, and Al Gore killed two puppies barehanded.

Hillary
According to a study, Hillary Clinton gets more hits on her Website than any other presidential candidate. Still the amount of clicks she gets on her Website pales compared to the amount of clicks she gets on her phone with all the wiretapping going around.

Globe
Adolf Hitler's globe will be sold at an auction in San Francisco next month. If we truly mean that we want peace with Iran, Adolf Hitler's globe would be the perfect present to win the heart of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

Cheney
According to Lynne Cheney, her husband Dick Cheney and Barack Obama are actually eighth cousins once removed. That explains Cheney’s black heart.

According to Lynne Cheney, her husband Dick Cheney and Barack Obama are actually eighth cousins once removed. Senator Larry Craig has also had some black into him too... several times.

According to Lynne Cheney, her husband Dick Cheney and Barack Obama are actually eighth cousins once removed. Apparently that is what she always tells her political girlfriends when she wants to show off about her husband’s endowment.

Screaming
In Scranton, Pennsylvania, a woman is facing up to 90 days in jail and a $300 fine for yelling profanities at her overflowing toilet. In her defense, she thought she was screaming at the TV set.

Ring
Police forces in San Diego arrested fifty people in connection with a cockfighting ring. Among those arrested, there were three priests, two senators and a famous “American Idol” host.