October 18th 2007

Hey everybody, I just want to thank Newsday and Ken Rasack for choosing one of my jokes, it is always an honor to be feature in such a great paper among real comedy writers. Thanks a lot!
http://www.newsday.com/news/opinion/ny-oppun185418648oct18,0,5143971.story

Cheney
According to Lynne Cheney, her husband Dick Cheney and Barack Obama are related. That answers the question about Obama visiting churches that often during his presidential campaign; he was just looking for a good exorcist.

Smuggling
18 airline workers were charged Tuesday with helping drug traffickers smuggle heroin and cocaine through John F. Kennedy International Airport. The workers claim that that was the only way to get something high in that airport.

Blackwater
Breaking news: Blackwater to be out of Iraq pretty soon, likely to be replaced by “sewage water.”

Ellen
Ellen DeGeneres has gotten into trouble for giving to her hairstylist a dog she had adopted. This is not the first time Ellen has done something like that: a couple of years ago she got rid of another bitch called Anne Heche.

Happy couple
The Ladies Home Journal survey released last week shows 52% of women thought that Elizabeth and John Edwards had the happiest marriage among presidential candidates. The other 48% is divided into 1% each marriage Giuliani had.

The Ladies Home Journal survey released last week shows 52% of women thought that Elizabeth and John Edwards had the happiest marriage among presidential candidates. Some of the voters still couldn’t decide who the woman in the relation is, though.

The Ladies Home Journal survey released last week shows 52% of women thought that Elizabeth and John Edwards had the happiest marriage among presidential candidates. 100% agree, though that Hillary and Bill have the happiest fake marriage.

Surprise
A woman in Brooklyn discovered a 7 foot python in her toilet. Apparently, somebody in the family had had the new Hardee's 920-calorie breakfast burrito.

A woman in Brooklyn discovered a 7 foot python in her toilet which made Larry Craig very jelous.