December 10th 2007

CIA
The CIA has destroyed two interrogation tapes. Worst of all the tapes didn’t confess to anything.

Spanish Debate
Univision hosted Sunday a GOP presidential debate in Spanish. The clear winner of the debate was Mitt Romney who apparently left the premise with several people to take care of his backyard.

Univision hosted Sunday a GOP presidential debate in Spanish. This time the candidates softened words on illegal immigration and all together decided to attack African-Americans instead.

Bad Breath
A Manhattan doorman has been suspended for having bad breath. Unfortunately, we couldn’t get his side of the story because none of the reporters dared talk to him.

Magna Carta
Sotheby's will auction a copy of the Magna Carta on Sunday. The White House can’t wait to get it. If they are lucky, people won’t even notice when they do the old switcheroo for the one they already destroyed.

Bush
President Bush lit the National Christmas Tree in the Ellipse in Washington D.C. Unfortunately, this year it was literally. He was playing with matches like the 10 year-old kid that started the fires in California.

Hot Tub
A relaxing soak in a hot tub came to an abrupt end when Marlene Todd came eye to eye with a cougar in her backyard. Apparently, the cougar left when she checked inside the hot tub and there were no young guys around.

Celebrities
An inmate lost a court fight to hang a photo of Jennifer Aniston in his prison cell. The inmate wasn’t sad because he said he was already thinking of changing it for a photo of Angelina Jolie.

It was reported this week that Nicolas Cage could have starred in both the "Matrix" trilogy and the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy. Fortunately for the viewers, he didn’t.

Sandwich
A Vermont man claims he found a condom in a Burger King sandwich. The company spokesperson said that the condom was put there on purpose for health reason… to cover the finger that was inside the hamburger.

Jesus
According to a new survey, 25% of people say they don't know where Jesus was born. The other 75% say they had Jesus doing their lawn and he could be from Mexico or Guatemala.