November 28th 2007

Dick Cheney
Vice President Dick Cheney experienced an irregular heartbeat Monday and had to be sedated at George Washington University Hospital to be treated. The sedation was not to prevent Cheney from feeling any pain, but rather to protect doctors from Cheney.

Vice President Dick Cheney experienced an irregular heartbeat Monday, a condition detected by doctors that treated him for a lingering cough from a cold. How bad is Cheney’s heart condition that he has a heart attack every time he coughs?

Waterboarding
Stephen King told Nightline that if the Bush administration didn't think waterboarding was torture, they should waterboard Jenna Bush. Jenna said that she has been waterboarded several times in the past, mostly at friend’s parties with beer bongs.

Durable crotch
According to USA Today, the Army is retrofitting 1 million uniforms to bolster pants that have been tearing in the crotch region during the rigors of fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan. Apparently, the soldiers were tired of going commando.

According to USA Today, the Army is retrofitting 1 million uniforms to bolster pants that have been tearing in the crotch region during the rigors of fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan. The pentagon claimed it was not a mistake, just part of the Shock and Awe the enemy strategy.

According to USA Today, the Army is retrofitting 1 million uniforms to bolster pants that have been tearing in the crotch region during the rigors of fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan. That happens when you put Karl Rove in charge of the outfit design. Unlike any of the soldiers, Rove has no balls.

According to USA Today, soldiers in Iraq began reporting "crotch durability problems" with their combat uniforms in July 2005, especially when they were visited by football cheerleaders in charge of boosting their morale.

Carson Daily
NBC's "Last Call with Carson Daly" is about to become the first late-night talk show to defy the writers strike and resume production. Carson Daily was not funny with writers, can you imagine how bad he is going to be without them?