November 20th 2007

CBS News Writers
CBS news writers voted by a wide margin to authorize a strike against their employer, the Writers Guild of America announced Monday. After deliberations, CBS decided to hire back Dan Rather because he already showed he can write his own news.

CBS news writers voted by a wide margin to authorize a strike against their employer, the Writers Guild of America announced Monday. President Bush said it is appalling news writers are not making enough money and encouraged the ABC and NBC writers to go on strike as well, at least until the end of his presidency.

CBS news writers voted by a wide margin to authorize a strike against their employer, the Writers Guild of America announced Monday. CBS is convinced they’ll do fine with Katie Couric, as long as the make up and wardrobe department doesn’t go on strike as well.

Tyson
Mike Tyson was ordered to serve a whopping one day in jail as punishment for his arrest on charges of driving under the influence and cocaine possession earlier this year. Al Sharpton immediately cried racism and organized a march to protest because Lindsay Lohan only got 84 minutes for the same charges.

Hillary
On the campaign trail, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said that it takes a Clinton to clean up after a Bush. You don’t need a Bush to clean after a Clinton, but you might need a bunch carpet cleaning companies, though.

Security
Presidential candidate John McCain said on the campaign trail that if he's elected president he won't need secret service protection. On the other hand, the secret service has decided to increase the number of people assigned to Vice President Dick Cheney, in this case, to protect people from Dick Cheney.

TV Support
Political analysts believe some of the big news channels are already taking sides when it comes to supporting a candidate for the next presidential elections. Fox News is behind Rudy Giuliani, CNN behind Hillary, and Sci-Fi channel behind Dennis Kucinich.

Capitol Police
A Capitol Police officer has been suspended in connection with the series of restroom fires that broke out in Senate office buildings over the past three months. Apparently, the officer didn’t know any better way to disguise the stench caused by those burritos he ate the previous nights.

Turkeys
In an annual ritual dating back to Abraham Lincoln's time, President Bush will "pardon" two turkeys this Tuesday and send them to Disneyland. This gives an indication that this year Bush is pardoning a Tom and Michael Vick.

President Bush will spare two turkeys from dinner tables Tuesday, and send them first class on a plane to Disney World. It is not a crazy idea to send the birds in first class, because if they’d traveled couch they’d probably end up barbecued by the other hungry passengers.

Vice president Dick Cheney will get together with his family for Thanksgiving Dinner. He said the part he enjoys the most is when he waterboards the Turkeys, because it is not torture, he is just tenderizing them.

MTV
MTV is launching a new channel called MTV Arabia, for people in the Middle East. The channel will broadcast an Arabic version of the popular car makeover show "Pimp My Ride," in which most of the cars will be added i-Pods, Hi-Def TV’s and the coolest compartments to hide bombs.

MTV is launching a new channel called MTV Arabia, for people in the Middle East. The channel is working on a Hip Hop show. Let’s see if 50 cents dares brag about being shot 9 times in front of those Middle Eastern people.