November 13th 2007

Hillary
Hillary Clinton admitted planting a question with an audience member in Iowa last week. People became suspicious of the planted question when someone in the audience asked: “Where the hell did you spend the night Bill?”

Hillary Clinton was accused of not leaving a tip when she visited a restaurant in Iowa last month. Her campaign staff denied those rumors and said Hillary always leaves waitresses a tip: “Don’t you ever marry a chubby chaser.”

Fred Thompson
GOP officials said Monday that Fred Thompson has won the presidential endorsement of the National Right to Life Committee. Isn’t it ironic that the deadest candidate in the campaign trail gets the support from the most pro-life group?

GOP officials said Monday that Fred Thompson has won the presidential endorsement of the National Right to Life Committee. Thompson wanted to thank the endorsement in a speech, but couldn’t find anybody to write it because Hollywood writers are on strike.

Britney
Britney Spears was caught on video going through a red light with her kids in the car. In her defense, she said she was helping one of her kids light a cigarette.

Britney Spears was caught on video going through a red light with her kids in the car. Nobody bought Britney’s excuse that she was in a hurry because Victoria’s Secret was about to close.

Dart
A woman was recently struck in the head with a dart at an Omaha Wal-Mart. Her husband had always told her he had fell in love with her beautiful bull’s eyes.

Lohan
It was reported that Lindsay Lohan hired a Romanian man to help her become a human magnet. The only thing she has attracted so far is problems.

Person of the year
Rumors are J. K. Rowling could be Time Magazine’s person of year. Dumbledore, on the other hand, could be Out Magazine’s person of the year.

Thanksgiving
Airline passenger traffic around the Thanksgiving holiday is forecast to rise 4 percent from a year ago. The 4 percent increase represents the amount of people forced to go to their parents’ to stay with them after they lost their houses in the mortgage crisis.

Job advice
A job listing website recently published a list of things you shouldn't do at work if you want to get far in life. The number one thing you SHOULD do at work is your boss.