November 8th 2007

Homeless
According to a report released Thursday, veterans make up one in four homeless people in the United States. The other three are not veteran homeless, just new ones after they lost their house with the mortgage crisis.

Dollar
The fall of the dollar gives the US a great chance to export American products; the only problem is that the only things we are manufacturing lately are political and Hollywood scandals.

Star Jones
Star Jones spoke for the first time in her show about her gastric bypass surgery. Actually, it wasn’t Jones but her stomach that growled to break the news and beg for a cheeseburger.

Washing Dogs
A company in France developed a washing machine-like contraption to wash and dry your dogs. They are being sued by the Pink Panther for copyright infringement.

Bounty Hunter
During a recent interview, The Dog Bounty Hunter said that he would kill himself if that meant forgiveness from black people. In other news, The Apollo Theater is inviting black people to sign a petition to forgive The Dog Bounty Hunter.

During a recent interview, The Dog Bounty Hunter said that he is part black. He claims that the best proof is that he is married to a fat white woman.

Bible
China won’t allow athletes to bring bibles with them to the Olympics. It seems athletes will have to find another place to hide their steroids.

Bush
U.S. President George W. Bush said on Wednesday he called Pakistan President Pervez Musharraf and urged him to hold elections. Apparently, President Bush offered Musharraf our hanging chads and Supreme Court in case he runs into any kind of trouble.

U.S. President George W. Bush said on Wednesday he personally made a phone call to Pakistan President Pervez Musharraf. Apparently, Bush was unable to reach him but left a voice mail: "You thoughtless little pig...”

Pat Robertson
Televangelist Pat Robertson is endorsing Republican presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani. To show some support for Giuliani, the founder of the Christian Coalition is going to change the name of his show to Club 911 and also he now claims to be able to leg press 911 pounds.