November 26th 2007

Fireplace
San Francisco is considering banning fireplaces. I guess the Christmas song won’t sound the same if you go: “Roasting chestnut on a Foreman grill...”

Hulk Hogan
Hulk Hogan found out his wife was divorcing him after a newspaper reporter asked him about it. VH1 is considering changing Hogan’s show’s name "Hogan Knows Best" to "Hogan Doesn’t Know Squat"

Giuliani
Several newspapers reported this weekend that Giuliani’s campaign rallies are attended mostly by reporters but very few of Giuliani’s supporters. Giuliani’s campaign staff said the report is unfair because you should count all the Fox reporters as Giuliani’s supporters as well.

Miracle
During Thanksgiving dinner a 14-month-old baby crawled over to a window and fell 20 feet onto a roof without breaking a single bone. How bad his aunt’s pumpkin pie must have been for the little kid to decide to jump out of the window?

Hillary
Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton said in an interview she prays to God to help her lose weight. Bill, on the other hand, prays to God she gains weight and hopefully she gets a lot younger.

McCartney
British tabloids said that Paul McCartney was spotted going out with Rosanna Arquette. The same papers reported three weeks ago that McCartney was going out with multi-millionaire, Nancy Shevell. And we all thought Heather Mills was the one hopping from relationship to relationship.

Global warming
Researchers warned that global warming could lead to famine, wars and population decline. After hearing the news, Dick Cheney called his auto dealer and ordered the biggest SUV they have in stock.

Turkey
Researchers say that turkey is not the reason why people get tired after Thanksgiving dinner. Apparently, what makes people exhausted is the fight to try to button up their pants again.