December 13th 2007

Hey I 'm in Newsday!! Thanks Ken and Newsday for choosing one my jokes, once again a true honor. Check the link here.
http://www.newsday.com/news/opinion/ny-oppun5498380dec13,0,4432255.story

Waterboarding
Some Republicans in congress are having a tough time explaining waterboarding as something that is not defined as torture. Apparently, now they are saying that you can see a video where waterboarding is used and the individual seems pretty exited about it: "Flashdance."

Bush
During an interview with ABC News at the White House, President Bush said he doubted he’d be standing there if he hadn’t quit drinking alcohol. Ironically, he wouldn’t be standing there if it wasn’t for the fact that more than half of this country was drunk in 2004.

During an interview at the White House, President Bush said he doubted he’d be standing there if he hadn’t quit "drinking whiskey, and beer and wine and all that." The President left the interview smiling and asking his secretary: “Jell-O shots don’t count, right?”

China
China has stopped granting permission for American films to be shown in its theaters. Apparently, if we don’t take their crap, they are not going to take ours either.

John Lennon
A lock of John Lennon's hair fetched $48,000 on Wednesday as part of an auction of Beatles memorabilia collected by the band's hairdresser. Meanwhile, Ringo’s barber cannot find anyone to sweep the floor after Ringo has a haircut.

White House
The White House released its annual holiday Barney-cam video. In one of the outtakes, Barney, the dog, runs away from Bush and leaves him talking to himself. Apparently, Barney said he was tired of picking up Bush’s doo doo.

Carson Daily
During the shooting of "Last Call," Carson Daily’s late night show, a bunch of striking writers heckled him for jumping the picket line. Ironically, that was the funniest moment of the show since Daily came back on the air.

Pilots
The House voted unanimously Tuesday to extend the retirement age for commercial pilots to 65. Now, knowing my luck, I will probably be stuck behind a plane flying at less than the maximum allowed speed and with the blinkers on