February 5th 2008

Iran
Iranian State TV showed live images Monday of Ahmadinejad wearing plastic, 3-D glasses during the launch of Iranian’s first research rocket into space. Ahmadinejad said later that it was the most exciting moment of his life, not the launching, but seeing the Hannah Montana movie where he got the 3-D glasses.

Robo-Calls
Comedian Chris Rock is doing robo-calls for Barack Obama. The only problem is that he talks so fast, you don’t know if he’s asking you to vote for Obama or telling Yo momma jokes.

McCain
Former senator Rick Santorum said during an interview that John McCain “was very rough in the sandbox.” The reporter couldn’t figure out if he was talking about McCain’s behavior in the senate or McCain’s need for Metamucil.

Super Bowl
A great number of newspapers drew a comparison Monday between the result of the Super Bowl and the Democratic presidential race hinting Obama, the underdog, could win like the Giants did. Hillary immediately discarded the comparison saying that unlike Brady’s her ankles are strong.

The Patriots lost tons of money in unsold merchandise after their defeat against the Giants. Apparently, they are trying to recover some of the money by selling their bootlegged version of the game to the Chinese.

Babies
Baby shampoos, lotions and powders may be linked to possible reproductive problems. Apparently, if your kids grow used to that kind of stuff, they might end up like Richard Simmons.

Blue Eyes
A team of scientists has discovered that every single blue-eyed person on Earth can be traced back to one woman, who lived between 6,000 and 10,000 years ago. And we thought Paris Hilton was easy…

Britney
Doctors at UCLA Medical Center's psychiatric hospital decided to keep Britney Spears hospitalized an additional 14 days because they were afraid of imminent suicide. Doctors believe the relentless covering of Britney in the media will push tons of tired people to commit suicide.

Hillary
According to Clinton campaign's latest federal campaign disclosure report, Hillary paid $ 7,500 to take classes with a vocal coach. Apparently, she misunderstood Bill’s comments that she should improve her oral skills.