January 30th 2008

Giuliani
Republican presidential candidate Rudi Giuliani is expected to drop out of the race today. There it goes the last presidential candidate that looks good in a skirt.

Republican presidential candidate Rudi Giuliani is expected to drop out of the race today. Apparently he said he wants to spend more time with his mistresses.

Republican presidential candidate Rudi Giuliani is expected to drop out of the race today. The announcement is expected to occur around 9:11 your time.

Edwards
Democratic Presidentrial Candidate John Edwards dropped out of the presidential race today. Apparently he wanted to spend more time with his hair.

Cheney
Vice president Dick Cheney celebrates his 67th birthday today. Cheney says he feels better and younger this year. Apparently, he’s only had five heart attacks while trying to blow the candles.

Vice president Dick Cheney celebrates his 67th birthday today. It was quite strange, but no matter how hard he and his family tried, his daughter refused to blow the candles with him.

Vice president Dick Cheney celebrates his 67th birthday today. Apparently, as a part of the celebration all the prisoners at GITMO were champagne boarded.

Movies
Matthew McConaughey confessed in an interview that during the filming of his last movie, Kate Hudson constantly begged him to use deodorant. That’s a shared feeling because I always thought Matthew McConaughey’s movies stunk.