April 24th 2008

Jenna
Jenna Bush said Thursday that she is not endorsing McCain and she's open to vote for Democratic candidates. Apparently Jenna had a change of heart when she saw Hillary chugging beers.

Bear
The bear that Will Ferrell wrestled in the movie "Semi-Pro" killed its trainer on Tuesday. Not to justify the bear, but I also felt like killing someone after I saw that movie.

Study
According to a study by the University of Exeter in Britain, women with a low-calorie diet have more chances to give birth to females. I guess I’ll be having a son...

Moscow
Moscow is being hailed as the new New York City. Do Moscow’s governors also have sex with hookers?

Obama
According to the elections in Pennsylvania, Barack Obama is doing poorly with Jewish voters. But if you think about it, they didn’t like Jesus either, did they?

Two high school seniors were suspended for skipping school to meet Obama at a diner in their hometown of Scranton. It is not the first time it happens. Once, two McCain followers were deprived of their J-Lo benefits as a punishment for escaping from their retirement homes to see McCain at a Bingo event.

Republican John McCain said Wednesday that he left a voice mail message for state party chairwoman Linda Daves asking her to pull an ad against Barack Obama, but he was not heard. Apparently, McCain’s voice mail message idea was mailing a reel to reel.

Hospital
A jury found Monday that a hospital did nothing wrong when it tried to examine the rectum of a construction worker who had been hit on the head by a falling wooden beam. Apparently, the jury just took a look at the doctor’s long, long fingers.

Hillary
According to Hillary’s campaign, she is en route to raise $10 million that will help her to continue running after the victory in Pennsylvania. Apparently, the GOP is cutting the check as we speak.

Some reporters are saying that Obama’s campaign is using product placement after they saw three guys standing two rows behind the candidate, each sporting t-shirts clearly bearing the logos of Abercrombie & Fitch. Apparently, it is a trend among candidates, if you pay close attention you’ll see McCain supporters with Metamucil logos and Hillary’s with T-shirts that read: Sabre Sciences Hot Flash Free Extra.