April 15th 2008

McCain
John McCain said Monday that next week he’ll begin a tour of places that have never seen a candidate for President before. Apparently, McCain is starting his tour in heaven...

John McCain said Monday during his campaign he’ll be visiting places far removed from the prosperity that is enjoyed elsewhere in America. Apparently, McCain is going get off his bus for the first time.

Pope
Pope Benedict XVI arrived in Washington Tuesday for a six-day visit to the U.S. His stay may be extended to a couple of months depending on whether or not Bush decides to go to confession.

Survey
American Research Group Inc released Monday a survey showing Sen. Hillary Clinton leading Sen. Barack Obama by 20 percentage points in Pennsylvania. Apparently Hillary is not the only one drinking these days.

IRS
According to an IRS report, the average American spends 26-and-a-half hours preparing their tax form. Actually, the great majority spends a little bit more, but the average goes down because of Wensley Snipes.

Boy
Republican Rep. Geoff Davis apologized to Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama on Monday after referring to him as "that boy" during a Republican gathering Saturday night. Davis said that he didn’t mean to insult Obama, and added that next to McCain any 47-year-old is still a boy.

Bush
According to the History News Network, 98% of professional historians believe George W. Bush's presidency has been a failure. Bush responded that these historians will be all dead when history judges him favorably.

Record
13-year-old Andrew Dahl of Blaine, Washington established a world record after inflating 213 balloons in an hour using just his nose. Now Amy Winehouse wants to establish another record by sucking out the air of those balloons with her nose in less than 5 minutes.

Cheney
A picture of Dick Cheney during a fishing trip with what appeared to be a naked woman reflected in his sunglasses in the close-up circulated the web last week. The Bush administration released a statement saying that Cheney had gone fishing with Larry Craig.

A picture of Dick Cheney during a fishing trip with what appeared to be a naked woman reflected in his sunglasses in the close-up circulated the web last week. The Bush administration confirmed it was a naked woman, but said it is part of a new medical procedure to ensure Cheney’s heart is still beating.