April 17th 2008

Pope
Almost 13000 people gathered at the White House to greet the Pope Wednesday and all of them shared a pray with the Holiness. Apparently the White House has not seen so much kneeling since Bill Clinton left office.

Almost 13000 people gathered at the White House to greet the Pope Wednesday. They left disappointed though as they expected to see the Pope practicing an exorcism on Dick Cheney.

President Bush picked up the Pope at the airport after his arrival. While in the Limo, Bush asked the pope if he wanted to drive it, because if the Holiness was driving him, all his friends would think he’s God.

Hillary
During the Democratic debate in Pennsylvania and while explaining her Bosnia comments, Hillary said she is not dumb. “Well...” said Bill while dusting off the glitter off his briefs...

According to a recent poll only 39 percent of Americans trust Hillary. She is noticing her decline in popularity as nobody has called her at 3 AM in weeks.

Bush
Barack Obama made $4.2 million last year mostly from his two books. After hearing the news, Bush was very happy and said that he expects to make $2.1 million after he leaves the White House, until somebody told him Obama wrote the books, not just read him.

Titanic
Researchers claim that the Titanic sunk faster because the shipbuilder used cheap, substandard rivets on the hull. Apparently, those are the same kind of rivets that are holding Hillary’s campaign.

Gas
The price of oil broke a record Wednesday with $115 a barrel. The gas price is so high that after Bush picked up the Pope at the airport, he asked his Holiness to lift his rope and show some legs with the hope someone would give them a ride to the White House.

Cancer
Researchers at the Cancer Council Victoria in Melbourne, Australia have found that men who take care of themselves more than five times a week are 33% less likely to develop prostate cancer. Apparently, the suggestion came about when an Australian researcher was caught looking at porn by his wife for the fifth time.

Researchers at the Cancer Council Victoria in Melbourne, Australia have found that men who take care of themselves more than five times a week are 33% less likely to develop prostate cancer. Who would have ever thought that Pee Wee Herman was going to be associated to the cure for cancer?

Tax
A California legislator wants a 1,500% tax increase on beer. He must have had too many of those beers if ever thought Americans would let that bill pass.