April 28th 2008

Deal or no Deal
This Monday, Deal or No Deal will have a Star Wars themed show. The producers don’t seem to learn from experience and are doomed to fail again. When they invited President Bush, ratings were a disaster, and now they want to have Dick Cheney on?

Candidates
This weekend Hillary Clinton challenged Obama to a one-on-one debate with no moderators. Obama rejected the challenge on the basis that they already debated 20 times and also on the fact that last time Hillary had a one-on-one with someone with no moderators Chelsey was born.

During his campaign in Indiana, presidential candidate Barack Obama played basketball with some locals. He did great; according to the stats Obama had 9 points, 4 rebounds and 3 steals of superdelegates.

A teen was arrested for making a rap video where his senile 85-year-old grandparent wears a ski mask and points a gun at the camera. Fortunately, the police prevented the release of the video; otherwise it would have been quite embarrassing for McCain to have to explain what he was doing.

Bush
President Bush kept the audience entertained poking fun at his potential successors Saturday night at the White House Correspondents’ Association annual dinner. The real laughter came a little later when he cited the accomplishments of his 7-year administration.

Oil
Oil prices rose sharply Friday on news that a ship under contract to the U.S. Defense Department fired warning shots at two boats in the Persian Gulf. Actually, the media calls it “warning shots,” but Cheney calls them oil-regulatory-price system.

Verdict
The verdict in the trial of 3 New York police officers accused of gunning down a groom in the morning almost caused a riot Friday with people claiming racism. Not a good day to be Wesley Snipes who not only will have to spend 3 years in jail but also won’t have Al Sharpton’s support as he’s busy on a more popular case.

Women
A study out of Germany found that most educated women complained of unsatisfying sex. I guess my wife must be a member of Mensa, then.

Cats
According to ABC News, in Japan people pay $10 an hour to drink tea with cats at Cat Cafes. Not a big deal in North Korea where you can drink tea with cats as a side order at any restaurant.

Miley Cyrus
The 15-year-old star of Disney series Miley Cyrus posed seminude for an upcoming issue of Vanity Fair. Fathers all over America were infuriated with the Disney star; now mothers all over the country will know why they insist so much in being the ones to take the kids to the Hannah Montana's concerts.

Inmate
An inmate awaiting trial on a murder charge is suing the county, complaining he has lost more than 100 pounds because of the jailhouse menu. Apparently, he's afraid he might start looking too good for the other inmates.