April 29th 2008

Gas
The price of gasoline reached a $3.60 price average in the country. Gas is so expensive now that Monday everybody was using Rev. Jeremiah Wright’s inflammatory comments to light their fires.

An estimated 350 trucks drove around Capitol Hill to protest against high fuel prices. Members of congress were quite disappointed, when they saw so many trucks arriving to Capitol Hill they thought it was there usual Monday booze supply.

An estimated 350 trucks drove around Capitol Hill to protest against high fuel prices. Isn’t driving a a bad idea when you want to protest about the price of gas?

Some people in America are suggesting a 4-work-day week to cope with the high price of gas. Congress would never approve something like that, why would you work so many days?

Debt
According to a study from the Brookings Institute and the Pew Charitable Trust, the average American between the ages of 25 and 34 has $4,357 in credit card debt. You can add another $60 bucks to that today because all of them will be buying Grand Theft Auto IV.

Clemens
The "New York Daily News" is claiming that Roger Clemens was cheating on his wife Debbie with country singer Mindy McCready for about 10 years. Apparently the media and his wife never knew about her because she was always strategically hiding behind Clemens' huge head.

Viagra
A mayor in Lo Prado , Chile plans to give out free Viagra to men 60 and older in his town to improve their quality of life four times a month. Unfortunately the help won’t work unless the men are giving another pills to remember when to take the Viagra.

A mayor in Lo Prado ,Chile, plans to give out free Viagra to old people after they undergo a thorough medical exam to avoid heart attacks. The medical exams are not going to be for the receivers of the Viagra, but rather their wives who might suffer a heart attack when they see an erection.

Obama
Former Pink Floyd Roger Waters, an Obama fan, had an inflatable pig the size of a school bus flying during a concert which read "Obama" with a checked ballot box alongside. Fox new immediately broke out their regular programming to report that Obama hates cops.

Former Pink Floyd Roger Waters, an Obama fan, had an inflatable pig the size of a school bus flying during a concert which read "Obama" with a checked ballot box alongside. The message is confusing, does it mean Obama will get elected President when pigs fly?

McCain
The Republican National Committee demanded Monday that television networks stop running a television ad by the Democratic Party that suggests John McCain wants a 100-year war in Iraq. Apparently the GOP thinks McCain is selling himself short with only a 100 years.

Strippers
The number of strippers and strip clubs in Toronto is declining, with former dancers blaming the Internet for putting them out of work. So if what strippers always say is true, that might drastically reduce the future number of doctors in Canada.