September 10th 2008

Sarah Palin
People are still praising Sarah Palin’s speech at the GOP convention. That tells you how bad the state of our education system is that people are still mesmerized because somebody knew how to read.

Sarah Palin has been preparing herself very hard for her upcoming interview with Charles Gibson. People close to the candidate say she’s been watching repeatedly the movie "Basic Instincts" for ideas to distract the TV host.

According to the New York Post, seventy percent of Americans share their beds and sleep with their pets. Apparently, they just put some lipstick on them and pretend they are sleeping with a hockey mom.

During her latest appearances, Sarah Palin has been saying that she sold a plane on eBay. Apparently, she sold the plane in a package with her daughter’s purity ring.

According to the Washington Post, Sarah Palin billed the state of Alaska, $54.33 in 312 occasions just for sleeping in her own home. Democrats were appalled; they are willing to pay way more if she wants to stay home for a very long time.

McCain and Sarah Palin are getting huge crowds during their latest appearances after the GOP convention. Obama has a plan to counteract their latest fame; he’s planning on releasing an ad comparing McCain with Britney Spears.

Politics
During recent comments, Cheney said that Sarah Palin is one of the most attractive, sexiest, pieces of ass that ever existed in American Politics. And by Cheney I mean Mary Cheney, Dick’s daughter.

During a campaign stop in Columbia Missouri, Joe Bidden introduced State Senator Chuck Graham and told him to stand up without realizing the senator uses a wheelchair. Apparently, Bidden thought Obama was around and was going to make a miracle and make Chuck Graham walk again.

Study
According to a recent survey, 85% of men in long-term relationships continue to masturbate even when they're getting regular action. The other 15% sit on their hands and pretend it is someone else.