September 4th 2008

GOP Convention
Sarah Palin addressed the GOP convention Wednesday. Most Republicans had never heard her speak so they welcomed her to the stage with a long applause. And as soon as they heard her high-pitched, squeaky voice, some people wondered why they stopped applauding.

Gov. Palin gave her VP acceptance speech in front of millions of people at the Republican Convention Wednesday, and that was just counting her family members.

During her speech at the GOP convention, Sarah Palin said that she’s not going to Washington to seek the reporters’ good opinions; she is going to Washington to serve people. Very smart choice of words, because if she doesn’t win she can serve the Washington people as a waitress in Hooters.

Ice
A chunk of ice shelf nearly the size of Manhattan has broken away from Ellesmere Island in Canada's northern Arctic. Republicans are hoping it lands in Sarah Palin’s future son-in-law’s crotch.

Sexist
Republicans are saying that every network, with the exception of Fox is being sexist. The Fox Female reporter agreed, then giggled, unbuttoned her blouse, crossed her legs a couple of times and went on reading the news.

Political analysts were surprised to see how fast, organized and harshly Obama’s campaign staffers criticized Sarah Palin. It wasn’t hard though, they had tons and tons of material and just change the name “Hillary Clinton” for “Sarah Palin.”

Barkley
Charles Barkley announced Tuesday he will have a routine colonoscopy and have the procedure videotaped and televised. Apparently, Fox Network was looking for a classy show to launch its new season.

Sleazy
According to current estimates, Spaniards spend about $72 million a day in prostitutes, almost 40 times more than American men do. Hey, Charlie Sheen, you’re a wimp! USA, USA!

According to current estimates American men spend an average of $13.7 million a day in prostitutes. The average is expected to increase dramatically as soon as they include the Democratic and Republican Conventions.

Dating
Michael Jackson has reportedly had two dates with Pamela Anderson. Unfortunately, he had three with Pamela Anderson’s kids...

Michael Jackson went on a couple of dates with Pamela Anderson. Together they have more rubber than Goodyear.