August 25th 2008

Olympics
After it was known that Michael Phelps consumes 12,000 calories, several companies approached the gold medallist to sponsor their products: Kellogg’s, McDonalds and Crane, the toilet maker company.

A man from Argentina shot himself six times to commit suicide and it didn’t work. Apparently the reason the man was so depressed and wanted to commit suicide was because he couldn’t win an Olympic medal in the shooting competition.

During the men’s 4 X 100-meter relay, the athlete Gay dropped the baton and the US team couldn’t get a medal. Apparently Gay got distracted with the other athletes’ batons.

Democratic National Convention
The Democratic National Convention started Monday. The stadium is filled with well known politicians and celebrities. The only other place where you can find such a conglomeration of famous celebrities and politicians is in rehab.

Security is expected to be pretty tight at the Democratic National Convention, almost as tight as in any airport. The difference is that at the airport you don’t want to be in line behind someone that looks Muslim, at the convention, you don’t want to be in line behind someone that looks like an angry white, female, like a Hillary supporter.

The Democratic National Convention will have an Oscar vibe when Hollywood celebrities and Al Gore, and Oscar winner show up at the event. Not only that, apparently if Hillary or Bill go off track with the message of their speeches, organizers will shut their mics, play the out cue music and kick them out of stage.

Barack Obama has been preparing himself for his speech at the Democratic National Convention. Hours and hours to memorize the lines, and that is only to enumerate John McCain’s possessions.

I don’t want to say Democrats are divided but when it was known the convention was going to be held at the Pepsi Convention center in Denver, Hillary’s supporters immediately said they’d prefer coke.

Hillary Clinton will be speaking on Wednesday at the Democratic National Convention. Mrs Clinton negotiated the right to show a short film about her life that will air prior to her speech. Apparently the film is called : Sisterhood of the travelling pants II

Sen. Edward Kennedy could make an unscheduled appearance at this week's Democratic convention if his physicians give him the go-ahead, his son says. It’ll be very short, as soon as Kennedy finds out no booze is allowed inside the venue , he’ll probably leave.

Hillary Clinton will Speak Tuesday at the Democratic National Convention. Her fans are expected to go wild when she shows up, especially when they see her surprise outfit, those wetsuit like the ones Michael Phelps wore at the Olympics.

Al Gore will be present at the Democratic National Convention. He’s going to be talking on Thursday and working as a room divider between Hillary and Obama’s fan for the rest of the convention.

Political analysts believe there’s some animosity between organizers of the Democratic National Convention and the Clintons for not throwing their full support to the Obama’s campaign. The hostility is clear, apparently both Hillary and Bill were given only one room with a king a bed at the hotel in Denver.

Deportation
Federal officials say a self deportation program didn't work so it is being shut down. Even when they are kicking Latinos out of the country, Americans want Latinos to do their job.

Biden
Barack Obama chose Joe Biden as his running mate. It is not a coincidence that Obama chose someone like Biden that back in the days used to be a lifeguard, Obama knows that after the Olympics anything that has to do with swimming will give you the Michael Phelp’s bump.

The Democrats announced their presidential ticket this weekend, it's :Obama-Biden. Or as Fox News is calling it, Osama-Laden.

Cockroaches
The 15th "Roach Derby" at Rutgers University in New Jersey has been won by a giant cockroach representing candidate John McCain. Cockroaches wanted McCain to win, they know that if he starts a nuclear war against Russia, cockroaches are the only ones that will survive.

The 15th "Roach Derby" at Rutgers University in New Jersey has been won by a giant cockroach representing candidate John McCain. It wasn’t fair, with all the houses McCain owns he has a better talent pool.