August 13th 2008

Bottles
Oregon State Police are reporting a large number of bottles filled with urine along parts of Interstate 84. Apparently, they got lost from the shipment that was going straight to China to help some Athletes pass the drug test.

Chinese Girl
A 7 year-old Chinese girl was not good-looking enough for the Olympics opening ceremony, so another little girl with a pixie smile lip-synched "Ode to the Motherland" for her. Americans were appalled China would do something like that to that poor little girl, because she could have had plastic surgery and even boobs implants.

China admitted that in its Olympics opening ceremony they used a girl who they thought was cuter than their original singer. Apparently, the original singer didn’t pass the Woody Allen test.

Invisible
Scientists say that they are close to making an invisibility cloak. They have been trying it on McCain every time there are reporters around.

Obama
Barack Obama revealed he gives his daughters a weekly allowance of one dollar. Actually, it's five dollars, but he keeps four dollars in taxes.

Barack Obama is going to alert his followers of his VP decision via text message. If you’d like to receive a text message alert when Obama makes his decision you can text VP to 1-800-SCREWHILLARY.

Barack Obama is taking a week-vacation in Hawaii. Ironically, the one getting punished for getting laid is John Edwards…

GOP
According to GOP insiders, there are going to be many absences at the upcoming GOP Convention. Unlike in Denver, where Democrats will gather, you can still find plenty of availability in Hotels and Airport bathrooms in Minneapolis where Republicans will meet.

Russia
The Kremlin ordered a halt Tuesday to Russia's devastating assault on Georgia, five days of air and ground attacks that left homes in smoldering ruins. Puttin said he’s willing to help with the reconstruction and sent executives of a company called Halliburtrosky

Running
A study published on Monday says that those who run live longer, especially if you run away from a jealous wife.