September 3rd 2008

GOP Convention
Sarah Palin did not make an appearance on the second night of the Republican National Convention as it was expected. Apparently, she wanted to double-check if anybody else was pregnant before she wrote the part of the speech where she thanks her family members.

Sarah Palin, who couldn’t attend the second day of the Republican National Convention, requested a copy of Fred Thompson’s speech., not because she finds it fascinating, but rather because she needed something to get the babies to asleep.

According to a survey, more than 70% of Americans got up their couches last night, exercised, and even engaged in conversation with their spouses. Apparently, all cable news and Networks were broadcasting Bush’s speech at the Republican National Convention.

During the Republican National Convention, President Bush complimented Sarah Palin and said she is ready for the vice presidency. Bush is not going to miss the chance to have someone in the White House that makes her two daughters look like Mother Theresa.

Palin
In the two days after McCain announced her as his running mate, the number of Internet searches for Palin passed every other political personality in the last three years. The searches come mostly from McCain’s staffers trying to see what else they didn’t know about her before they decided to make her the VP candidate.

Bristol Palin's boyfriend plans to join the family of the Republican vice presidential candidate at the GOP convention on Wednesday. When he heard the news, Larry Craig immediately offered to welcome him at the Airport personally.

Bristol Palin's boyfriend plans to join the family of the Republican vice presidential candidate at the GOP convention on Wednesday. Palin’s family will be introduced to the Republicans on stage by Jerry Springer.

Sarah Palin did not make an appearance on the second night of the Republican National Convention as it was expected. Apparently, she didn’t know how difficult it was to find a nanny in Minneapolis.

Elephants
According to a recent study, elephants are good at math. Hard to believe it when we had 8 years of Republicans in power and the economy sucks.

Oprah
Oprah Winfrey is opening her new season with a show that will include all the US Olympic athletes that won a gold medal in China. Oprah and Gayle are already fighting at home to decide who is going to be the lucky one to smack the beach volleyball women’s behinds.

Divorces
A man in Nigeria was ordered to divorce 82 of his 86 wives. Still three wives short of Larry King’s record.

Cat
A cat survived a 2 1/2-hour trip on a spare tire under her owner's truck. The owner realized his cat was there when the animal started screaming because he was sharing the spare tire with five illegal immigrants.

New Orleans
New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin said that residents should not return to the city until it is repaired from the effects of Hurricane Gustav. It’ll take a while; first we need to repair the city from the effects of Katrina.

Half of New Orleans was without electricity on Tuesday. Those were the lucky ones; the others had to watch Bush’s speech at the GOP convention.

Larry King
John McCain cancelled an appearance with Larry King to show his discontent with CNN. And also because he was embarrassed he was going to look older than Larry King did.

Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson has reportedly had two dates with Pamela Anderson. Unfortunately, he had three with Pamela Anderson’s kids...