August 28th 2008

Democratic National Convention
Political analysts believe that Hillary's and Bill’s speeches have united the Democratic party and now Democrats are ready for success. Not so quickly, the airline has been UNITED for a long time and they still suck.

Both Clintons proved they were capable of uniting the Democratic party. They were so effective, they got a phone call from MSNBC to see if the can write a speech to unite their hosts.

According to a new survey, a majority of Americans think women are smarter, more honest, creative, decisive, compassionate and outgoing. Unfortunately, the survey is not to be trusted; most Democrats and Republicans are likely to lie about women to try to get Hillary’s supporters’ votes.

You got to give it to Republicans, now they are saying that they don’t use dirty or smear tactics against Obama and that they don’t approve of any violence against the candidate, not because they care about him; they don’t want to give Obama the satisfaction of getting the 72 virgins.

Republicans were outraged when the Networks showed the limousine with Obama arriving at the convention to close the event last night. Apparently, they couldn’t believe Obama was not the one driving it.

Phelps
Michael Phelps will appear on the season debut of "Saturday Night Live." Apparently, they are looking for a good swimmer to save a show that is drowning.

Enzyte
The founder of Enzyte was convicted of defrauding customers seeking male sexual enhancement products. He’s just praying his cellmates were some of the buyers of Enzyte.

The founder of Enzyte was convicted of defrauding customers seeking male sexual enhancement products. Ironically, he will end up becoming the product himself and provide sexual enhancement performance to all his cellmates.

Book
Dave Freeman, the author of the book "100 Things to Do Before You Die," has died at the young age of 49. Apparently, among the 100 things to do before you die he didn’t include a visit to the doctor.

Babies
A new Canadian study shows why 'daddy' and 'mommy' are the only first words new-born babies understand. Apparently, babies are not into gay marriage.

Gustav
Tropical Storm Gustav is headed straight for New Orleans. This time people are ready to evacuate the area as soon as possible, not so much for fear of the storm, but in case FEMA arrives in time.

I like turtles.....
Two Indiana eighth-graders discovered a two-headed turtle. Actually, there were two turtles sharing one shell. Apparently, one the turtles lost its shell due to foreclosure.

Powerful
"Forbes" released a list of the 100 Most Powerful Women in the World and Condoleeza Rice is number 7. She is also number 22 in the 100 Most Powerful Men list.

Bush
President Bush and Dick Cheney are expected to speak on the first day of the Republican National Convention. Organizers are concerned, it is going to be hard to find seat warmers willing to endure those speeches.