September 2nd 2008

Hurricane Gustav
Cable TV has dominated by two major news stories these days: Sarah Palin's daughter's pregnancy and Hurricane Gustav. Some people were confused though, they still don't know if the channels were showing the radar images of the Hurricane or Palin's daughter's ultrasound...

Despite high winds and vulnerable levees, New Orleans escaped Gustav with limited damage. Republicans were still concerned about the water breaking. Nothing to do with the levees, though...

Republican Convention
The fact that New Orleans escaped Hurricane Gustav with limited damage might give President Bush the chance to speak at the GOP convention. That prompted Focus on the Family members to pray for rain again, this time to try to prevent Bush from showing up in Minneapolis.

During her speech at the GOP convention, Laura Bush said that this is a time when we take off our Republican hats and put on our American hats. Delegates were disconcerted for a minute, until they realized that by American hats she meant those made in China.

Palin
According to several websites, Sarah Palin, McCain’s running mate choice, was part of a political group that didn’t want to be part of America. Democrats immediately released a statement saying that Palin was never part of their party.

Official News
Russia's state news agency, RIA Novosti, announced that on Sunday Vladimir Putin saved a camera crew from an escaped Tiger. Official news is ridiculous. It is like some news channel in the US saying we’re not in the middle of an economic recession... oh, wait....

Acne
According to officials in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, many acne sufferers have started using lubricant from condoms to get rid of their zits. The news immediately killed down the rumors that Larry Craig’s new youngest look was due to botox.

Oil
Oil prices tumbled to below $111 a barrel Monday. Economist believe the price might go up again as soon as speculators find out that the drilling going on in Alaska is not on the surface of the state but in Sarah Palin’s family.