September 9th 2008

Sarah Palin
Sarah Palin will give her first media interview to Charles Gibson on ABC. They chose ABC because that’s the way they want the questions asked, with multiple choices.

Sarah Palin keeps saying that her experience will help stop the falling of Americans abroad. Not soldiers, just U.S. contestants during Miss Universe Beauty pageants.

I don’t want to say Sarah Palin is bigger than Jesus, but some Republicans, instead of a Jesus fish, have a put a Barracuda on their cars.

Sarah Palin is trying to convince people she’s the right person to boost an ill economy. She might be right; no market would dare be a BEAR market with Palin around.

Democrats are saying that with the McCain-Palin ticket, US soldiers will remain in Iraq for a very long time. They might be onto something; I don’t think Palin is that familiar with the term “pull out.”

Cockatoo
Police in Trenton, New Jersey, kicked down a door to help someone who was yelling "help me," but it was only a cockatoo. The owner reassured the cops nothing was wrong, then set the oven at 450 degrees and went on slicing the potatoes.

Osama
During his recent speeches, John McCain kept saying that he would capture Osama Bin Laden. Apparently, McCain knows where Osama is; probably renting one of his caves.

Lady Di
The limo company that owns the car princess Di was killed in is planning to sell it. The car comes in several plastic bags.

Fantasy Football
According to recent estimates, the average fantasy football player loses ten minutes a day at work... not watching porn....

Households
According to a CNN article, when a man makes more money that his wife, he's able to avoid certain household tasks just because he's the one earning the big paycheck. This just in: John McCain just cancelled his Town Hall meeting in Nebraska because he has to vacuum the living room.