February 25th 2009

During Obama’s speech in Congress, both Democrats and Republicans stood up to celebrate some of Obama’s words several times. The only person that remained seated throughout the entire night was Roland Burris, but just because he was afraid he was going to lose his seat.

According to the Nielsen Company, the average American watches roughly five hours of TV every day. Unfortunately, now in America when we talk about 9 to 5, it is not about work anymore but about the hours we spend in front of the TV set.

During Obama’s address to Congress on Tuesday, people started to feel Democrats were helping part of America. For example, between Biden and Pelosi, they both saved the plastic surgery industry.

Obama addressed congress Tuesday with a tremendous and articulate speech. Even Republicans were complimentary and said Obama is the Best African American President Ever!

Obama said during his speech on Tuesday that the United States of America does not torture. It was another of the Obama’s miracle when Cheney got up of his wheelchair and kicked the TV set.

According to a recent survey in the UK, one in five workers would have sex with their boss to get promoted. The other four would do it just to see what it feels like to be on top of the boss for once.

Local libertarians are proposing that the quickest and surest way of stopping the recession would be abolishing the income tax. It would be a great idea, assuming some people out there still have an income.

Florida wildlife managers have launched an experiment to see if they can keep crocodiles from returning to residential neighborhoods by temporarily taping magnets to their heads to disrupt their "homing" ability. Now, if you have a metal plate in any part of your body, you’re screwed.

Some Republicans are questioning the price of Obama’s future Marine One helicopters fleet. On Obama’s defense, the choppers cost is justifiable because it counts with cutting-edge communications equipment, missile defenses and the latest anti-head-bumping technology.

Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal delivered the Republican’s rebuttal to Obama’s speech. It seems the GOP wanted to use Jindal to get some of the Slumdog Millionaire bounce

Snuggie fans in Washington DC are getting together to spend the evening drinking and eating. And you know that to clean all the mess they are going to use a Shamwow.

NASA's Orbiting Carbon Observatory, a Taurus XL rocket, crashed into the ocean near Antarctica just after launch Tuesday. Maybe if NASA had used a Toyota Rocket instead of a Ford Taurus that wouldn’t have happened.

Madonna sent a care package full of kid's clothing to her adopted son's African orphanage. Madonna donated the clothes because her boyfriend had outgrown them.

Lawmakers in California want to legalize marijuana. Experts believe the taxation of marijuana can fix the financial crisis. But if it doesn’t, the legalization guarantees at least that nobody is going to have the energy to riot.

Lawmakers in California want to legalize marijuana. Experts believe the taxation of marijuana can fix the financial crisis and give us plenty of gold medals in the next Olympics.