February 12th 2009

According to a recent survey 50% of the women said that if they had to get involved with a co-worker it would be their boss. The other 50% would rather sue him for sexual harassment.

Sarah Palin celebrated her 45th birthday Wednesday. And she did it like always with her traditional chocolate moose cake.

According to a recent survey, 60% of Americans who earn less than $75,000 a year say the economy has affected their relationship. Especially because the husband can’t afford a mistress anymore.

Things are looking up for Michael Phelps despite the fact that Kellogg’s dropped him as a spokesperson. Students across the country are campaigning to change the names of their schools to Michael Phelps High.

Many homeowners in Dallas who placed W shaped yard signs to welcome former president Bush complained somebody has been stole them. Apparently it was the very own Bush that doesn’t want anybody to know where he is at.

A 16-year-old German drank 45 shots of tequila in a drinking contest and died. His friends were really sad, not so much because he's gone, but because he stood everybody up with the tab.

McDonald's Corp. said sales climbed a solid 7.1 percent in January despite the economic crisis. Apparently people keep buying junk food because it is a faster and more pleasurable way to commit suicide. There’s a new soft drink in India that’s made from cow urine, known here as bud light.

A commercial satellite owned by an American company called Iridium Satellite collided with a Russian spy satellite. Apparently The american satellite was distracted texting Direct TV.

The eight CEOs of bailed out Wall Street banks testified before Congress yesterday. I don't wat to say they got yelled by some members of congress but even Christian Bale thought it was too much.

Authorities said a transient man convinced a woman that he was the drummer for the rock band Foreigner, stole her Corvette .The Police was able to catch him right away because he was the only drummer that wasn't driving a car with a Pizza Hut sign on top of it.