February 9th 2009

Senators worked on Saturday to discuss the stimulus package Obama wants to pass. The senators worked on the weekend? I guess we were right when we said Obama was like Jesus and can make miracles.

Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps has been dropped as the face of Kellogg’s after the marijuana incident. Marijuana advocates decided to boycott the company but keep forgetting.

Subway sandwiches will not drop Michael Phelps as a spokesman, despite his admission of smoking pot. And to honor him they won’t sell the sandwiches by inches like the 5-inch-sandwich, but by the grams.

Actor Christian Bale apologized to his fans for his latest tirade in the movie set of “Terminator Salvation” and said he overreacted because he was channeling too much of his character. Fortunately, Bale was not shooting a sequel of Brokeback Mountain.

During the shooting of the movie Terminator Salvation, Christian Bale insulted and mistreated a photography director that accidentally walked in the set while he was shooting a scene. Fortunately for Bale, there’s no audio yet of what Bale did to the guy that recorded the conversation.

During a show at the Van Andel Arena in Grand Rapids Michigan, Jessica Simpson stopped a song because she forgot the lyrics. You know what they say about her, she can’t walk and chew gum, hot dogs, donuts, pork, roasted beef, chicken … at the same time.

Siegfried & Roy will make a one time return in Vegas on March 6 and will perform with tigers again for a charity event. Portions of the proceeds will benefit the Lou Ruvo Brain Institute. And portions of Roy will go to feeding starving animals in the Vegas Zoo.

The U.S. Census Bureau said in a report that a record 19 million homes are empty. And almost 30 million benches at the park are occupied.

The Iraqi journalist who threw his shoes at ex-President George W. Bush faces trial next week. Apparently, he is sponsored by Nike and its new logo: “Just Throw It”

During a show at the Van Andel Arena in Grand Rapids Michigan, Jessica Simpson stopped a song because she forgot the lyrics. Apparently, she got distracted when the ice cream truck drove buy.

The New York Daily News reports that Ann Coulter is under investigation by the Connecticut Elections Enforcement Commission for voter fraud. Apparently, she tried to vote as a woman.

During a show at the Van Andel Arena in Grand Rapids Michigan, Jessica Simpson stopped a song because she forgot the lyrics. Apparently, instead of using teleprompter, someone wrote the lyrics in a food nutritional information label that she never read.

Singers Rhiana and Chris Brown were scheduled to perform last night at the Grammies but didn’t show up. Apparently, they were working on “a hit” before the show started.

Singer Chris Brown allegedly hit his girlfriend Rhiana. “She should have seen it coming with that last name,” said Whitney Houston.

Actor Christian Bale apologized to his fans for his latest tirade in the movie set of Terminator Salvation and said he over reacted because he was channeling too much of his character. It happened several times during the movie Batman, but thanks to the mask, nobody understood a word of what he was saying.

Siegfried & Roy will make a one time return in Vegas on March 6 and will perform with tigers again for a charity event. Nobody is afraid of an attack on Roy again because tigers don't like vegetables

The economy is so bad Christian Bale’s swear jar has more money than any Bank.

The economy is so bad they are even firing people at Monsterjob.com