February 10th 2009

Alex Rodriguez admitted today that he took steroids. Steroids cause testicular shrinkage, but in the case of Rodriquez, his testies only shrink during the playoffs.

Alex Rodriguez admitted today that he took steroids in 2003. He said he did it because he was young, stupid and naive. Things have changed; he’s now a little older.

Alex Rodriguez admitted today that he took steroids. What an irony... in one channel, we have Obama talking about his big package, and in another channel, Rodriguez talking about his small package.

A family in New York collected $1,100 in change over three and a half years, exactly what Christian Bale collected in his swear jar after a couple of hours of filming a movie.

A family in New York collected $1,100 in change over three and a half years. Apparently, they are going to continue collecting coins until they have enough for a couple of hours of parking on the streets of New York.

Siegfried & Roy will make a onetime return in Vegas on March 6 and will perform with tigers again for a charity event. To make it safe, this time they are going to perform with a Detroit Lion, which as we all know, are pretty harmless.

According to a recent survey by the Spelling Society, only one in four Americans think they have a problem with espelling.

According to a recent survey by the Spelling Society, only one in four Americans think they have a problem with spelling. The other three are sure.

According to a new study from the University of Maine, women find it sexy when guys take risks. That’s why Paris Hilton loves anybody that dates her.

Wrigley is suspending Chris Brown as its spokesman for Doublemint gum. Cover Girl make up products, Rhianna’s sponsor, just gave her a raise.

President Obama bumped his head boarding Marine One as he left for Indiana yesterday morning. So much adoration that it was bound to happen... his head has become too big for his body.

President Obama bumped his head boarding Marine One as he left for Indiana yesterday morning. I’m glad it was caught on video, or they would have said it was Chris Brown that beat him up.

During a press conference, president Obama said that his stimulus package has no pet projects. Not even a month as a president and he already broke a promise to his daughters.

A married guy in Spain told the truth for an entire year. He is easy to recognize; he’s the guy with the face that looks like Rhianna.

President Obama said he would accept an invitation and have a beer with Sean Hannity. It is a brilliant idea: when Hannity gets drunk and starts seeing two Obamas, he’ll commit suicide.