February 19th 2009

Some people in the media are saying Obama is moving towards a Swedish model for the banks. It’ll be like IKEA; everyone we’ll have to build their own bank.

Katy Perry, the famous singer of “I Kissed a girl” puked backstage at the Brit Awards in London on Wednesday. Apparently, she kissed a girl, Amy Winehouse, and didn’t like it.

A southern Idaho couple got married at a funeral home. She had something old, something new and the blue thing was a corpse that was already there.
Please don’t tell me they planned the Honeymoon at a cemetery...

A person in New York got a kidney from a stranger who answered his craigslist ad looking for an organ donor. You know that considering it was Craigslist, he got tons of organ offers, but only one kidney.

A 53-year-old guy from Bridlington, England murdered his wife because she called out another man’s name in bed. Unfortunately for him, when she screamed “Oh Jesus!” she was not talking about the gardener.

The WGA protested Wednesday's live telecast of "American Idol," seeking improved working conditions for the show's "reality" TV writers. You’re telling me that the nonsensical comments Paula Abdul uses during the show are written by professional writers? Are they Sci-Fi writers?

A pilot at the London City Airport dropped his pants and exposed himself to security staff, after he got furious when they asked him to remove his shoes and belt. Unfortunately, he was immediately charged for not checking the two bags he showed.

A pilot at the London City Airport dropped his pants and exposed himself to security staff, after he got furious when they asked him to remove his shoes and belt. Nobody can say the pilot doesn’t have cojones... especially those who where there at the airport and saw what happened.

The New York Post caused a stir Wednesday for publishing a controversial cartoon many people considered racist. Even Imus cancelled his subscription to the newspaper.

The economy is so bad members of the KKK are poking holes in pages of the New York Post and using them as a hood.

The economy is so bad, women are fighting at weddings over the bouquet and also over the rice!

Tulsa International Airport has begun using body-scanning machines that look through clothing for hidden weapons. I’m personally buying Ann Coulter a ticket to Tulsa. Finally a chance to know if she’s a woman or a dude.

Tulsa International Airport has begun using body-scanning machines that look through clothing for hidden weapons. With Hillary gone, you know that Bill will apply for screener at Tulsa Airport now.

President Barack Obama unveiled a $75 billion program to help Americans recover their lost homes. Some people even say that lately he is personally doing a lot to help Republicans recover soon the house they just lost.

President Barack Obama unveiled a $75 billion program to help Americans stay in their homes. But you know that there’s no money in the world that would make Bill stay home now that Hillary is gone to Asia.