February 18th 2009

Bristol Palin, Sarah Palin’s 18-year-old daughter, said during an interview with Fox that everyone should be abstinent, but that that is not realistic. She might be right; we all know abstinence only works after marriage.

During an interview with Fox, and while discussing her daughter’s pregnancy, Sarah Palin said that there’s nothing wrong, life happens. “Yeah,” said the octuplet mom. “Life happens, life happens, life happens…”

New York's governor, David Paterson, has proposed a new 4% tax on all pornographic movies downloads. He hates porn; why do you think he went blind?

A California man, who spent four days in a coma and was about to be disconnected from life support, woke up just as his doctors were about to pull the plug. Unfortunately, he checked his 401K and is now suing the doctors for not unplugging him fast enough.

Australians may soon be charged for each flush under a radical new toilet tax designed to help beat the drought. It is a typical attack of the government on people’s privacy. Government should protect people’s first amendment and “number two” as well.

Australians may soon be charged for each flush under a radical new toilet tax designed to help beat the drought. At least they discarded they idea of taxing you by the Lb.

Australians may soon be charged for each flush under a radical new toilet tax designed to help beat the drought. And women though it was gross for men to go number one in the bathroom sink, they’d better learn how to do it now.

Bridges TV Network founder Muzzammil Hassan of Buffalo was arrested by police Friday for beheading his wife after an argument. Apparently, he lost his head during the discussion, and so did she.

Bridges TV Network founder Muzzammil Hassan of Buffalo was arrested by police Friday because during an argument about their marriage he beheaded his wife. Apparently, he was heard screaming, “I thought you gave it to somebody else!”

According to researchers at Reading University in England, the average cat kills about five small animals a year. Well some other cat must be killing 10 small animals a year, because the fatzo of my cat sleeps 24/7.

A-Rod gave a press conference where he told the media he used to inject himself twice a month with steroids but stopped in 2003. Nobody believed him, especially because he was sitting on one of those donut pillows.

A-Rod held a press conference Tuesday and told the media he’s not bigger than baseball... but with enough steroids he might get there one day.

“Friday 13th” is the number one movie in America. It is a really scary movie, especially the scene in which Jason discusses his 401K with Jim Kramer.

In an interview with a conservative talk show host, Rep. Michele Bachmann said that she opposes the stimulus package because we're "running out of rich people in this country.” Unfortunately, it seems that the number of dumb politicians continue to grow.