February 23rd 2009

The kids from the movie Slumdog Millionaire looked adorable at the Oscar ceremony, so much so, Angelina Jolie adopted some of them.

Sean Penn called the crowd "commie, homo-loving sons of guns" during his acceptance speech. Has he been listening to Rush or Hannity?

I had a hard time Sunday night; my computer broke down and I tried to get in touch with tech support. No luck... Everybody in India was watching the Oscars.

Producers of the Oscar ceremony said that the economic crisis was felt during the production of this year’s event. This year the goody bag actors got was from Wal-Mart, and most of the after parties were held at McDonalds, Taco Bell and some soup kitchens.

Suspended Atlanta Falcons star Michael Vick will be released in July. There already are rumors of a movie about his life: Slam Dogs Millionaire.

Socks, the famous White House cat, who stalked the corridors of power during the Clinton's reign, has died at the age of 18. It was hard for the Clintons, especially for Bill; you know how much he hates to lose an 18-year-old pussy.

The movie “Madea Goes to Jail” is the number one movie in America. Apparently, Madea ends up in jail for all atrocities she committed against the movie industry.

A month after leaving the White House, former President George W. Bush and his wife, Laura, moved into their new Dallas home Friday. Neighbors immediately knocked at Bush’s door and welcomed him with delicious pretzel pies.

Tulsa International Airport has begun using body-scanning machines that look through clothing for hidden weapons. And for some extra money people can ask for the body-scanning machines with air-brushing features.

According to the Wall Street Journal only 25% to 30% of ex-Bush officials seeking full-time jobs have succeeded. So if your McDonald burgers taste horrible, now you know who is flipping them.

President Barack Obama's $75 million foreclosure bill is generating some resistance among people, mostly from those who feel it’s unfair to help those who behaved irresponsibly buying homes they cannot afford, and also from tons of squatters.

According to a new study, the number of shark attacks went down last year. Actually, the number went up, but people are so hungry lately that most of the attacks are not reported because the sharks ended up as sushi.

A German businessman lost more than $13,000 in a public toilet. Gee! that must have been an expensive meal!

According to a new survey from “Health Plus" magazine, 77% women in their 40s say their sex lives are better now than ever before. The other 33% are still married or faithful to their husbands.

GM stocks have dropped to a 70 year low of $1.57. Stocks are so cheap now that when you buy a car they give you a windshield sun blocker made of their stocks.

During a speech in the East Room of the White House, Vice president Joe Biden gave the wrong website for people to follow how the government is spending the stimulus package. Apparently, instead of saying Recovery.gov, Joe Biden said hairrecovery.gov.