February 27th 2009

Friday leftovers. Send me an e-mail if you have any comments, suggestions, or ideas
pedrobartes@hotmail.com
have a great weekend. Pedro

Sources say that Guantanamo Bay abuse has worsened since Barack Obama took office. But it is just because it is Guantanamo’s Closing Torture Sale.

Vivid Video has offered California’s Octomom $1 million to make a porno. She actually offered to do it for free, as long as they let her take all samples she wants.

Vivid Video has offered the Octomom $1 million to make a porno. It is bad porn, all the money shots are inside a tube.

According to a recent survey, more than half of all dentists think $1 is an appropriate amount for the tooth fairy to give kids for every tooth. Today, the tooth fairy asked the government for a bailout.

The "New York Daily News" claims that Chris Brown is taking anger management classes. Unfortunately, he beat up the teacher because he failed the first exam.

The "New York Daily News" claims that Chris Brown is taking anger management classes. Sources say he’s a bully during recess.

Landscapers found 13,000-year-old tools in Colorado. Apparently, that’s the first sign of congress ever known.

Landscapers found 13,000-year-old tools in Colorado. And you know that across the street there’s a neighbor waiting to get those tools back.

In an interview broadcast Friday on ABC's "Good Morning America," Laura Bush said she has yet to cook a meal herself, because neighbors have been bringing over prepared dinners to welcome them to their new home in Dallas. Strangely enough, most neighbors prepared their delicious pretzel pies.

Former President George W. Bush and wife Laura made a surprise visit this morning to their neighborhood elementary school. Apparently, Laura wanted to talk to some teachers about education, and George wanted to complete second grade.

Former president Bush visited a Dallas-area elementary school Wednesday and when kids were asked who he was one kid said George Washington. Unfortunately for the former president, the rest of the class screamed in unison “The tool that crashed the economy and got my dad fired”

Former president Bush visited a Dallas-area elementary school Wednesday. It is a safe place for him; kid’s shoes are very small.

In an interview broadcast Friday on ABC's "Good Morning America," Laura Bush said that the only thing they don't have yet are the newspapers. Apparently, they were forced to use the only book they have at home for the bird cage.

British researchers said Thursday that adjectives like "dirty" and verbs like "squeeze" could disappear soon. Fortunately, Paris Hilton is working hard to keep those adjectives alive.

An Australian fitness trainer and ex-model said he is sticking to his pledge to gain more than 100 pounds to better understand overweight clients. I don’t want to be in these guy’s shoes, literally, poor shoes, especially after he gains the 100lbs.