March 2nd 2009

According to Nielsen Media Research, Fox News’ ratings went up 28 percent since the beginning of the year. You know that in time of serious economic crisis people tend to search for comedy.

Illusionists Siegfried and Roy and the Bengal tiger that ended their careers shared the stage again Saturday. And yet people have the nerves to criticize Rhianna for going back to Chris Brown.

Illusionists Siegfried and Roy and the Bengal tiger that ended their careers shared the stage again Saturday. The magicians claim they are going to play safe and from now onwards they’ll do the routine with a big chimp.

Illusionists Siegfried and Roy and the Bengal tiger that ended their careers shared the stage again Saturday. And you know that the tiger was more drugged than Joaquin Phoenix visiting Letterman.

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger on Friday declared a state of emergency due to drought. Things got so bad that now bigots have started to complain about the dry backs.

Ryanair Airlines contemplates charging customers to use its aircrafts' toilets. We all saw it coming: No more Doodie Free . . .

Ryanair Airlines contemplates charging customers to use its aircrafts' toilets. They’d better charge for the sick bags as well, because you know passengers will end up using them to avoid paying for the restrooms.

Ryanair Airlines contemplates charging customers to use its aircrafts' toilets. Prices might vary: $1.40 for number one and number two, and $50 for mile high club.

Police in Kettering, Ohio, say that a 39-year-old woman admitted that she was driving while breastfeeding her newborn baby. Police confirmed their suspicion after they gave the baby the BREASTalizher . . .

An Ohio woman was ticketed for breast feeding and talking on her cell phone while driving. And the worst part was that she was on the phone commenting with a friend the movie she was watching in the DVD player of the car.

A Utah Senate committee has approved a bill that would make it illegal to appear drunk. And today Joaquin Phoenix cancelled his trip to Utah.

Florida is using magnets taped to the heads of crocodiles to keep them out of residential neighborhoods. The other day I found two stuck to my fridge.

Florida is using magnets taped to the heads of crocodiles to keep them out of residential neighborhoods. Now, if you have a metal plate in any part of your body, you’re screwed.

President Barack Obama sat courtside at a basketball game Friday between his hometown team, the Chicago Bulls, and the Washington Wizards. Rumors are he was not taking a break; apparently, Obama was looking among the players for someone to be in charge of the Planned Parenthood program.