March 9th 2009

US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton gave her Russian counterpart a red "reset button" to symbolize improved ties, but the word "reset" was mistranslated into the Russian for “overcharge”. Apparently, Hillary did the translation herself with the help of her Russian friend Smirnoff.

US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton gave her Russian counterpart a red "reset button" to symbolize improved ties, but the word "reset" was mistranslated into the Russian for “overcharge”. Hillary could have asked any of Palin’s neighbors to help her with the translation.

A couple was kicked out of an adults-only nudist resort in Mossman, Australia, for wearing clothes. Apparently, there were complaints because most of the naked people were getting aroused.

Barack Obama gave the Prime Minister of England, Gordon Brown, a box set of 25 classic American films as a present. You can see the relations with England are not as good as when Bush was the president because the 25 classics included "The Love Guru" and a couple of Paris Hilton movies.

The White House hosted a summit for successful young business leaders. The economy is so bad, only a couple of kids that own a lemonade stand showed up.

Americans lost 1 hour on Sunday Due to Daylight-saving. Actually, two if you watched “Celebrity Apprentice”.

The economy is so bad that for daylight saving the government could afford to save only 30 minutes instead of an hour.

This Sunday morning, Americans had to move their clocks forward 1 hour. Rapper Flavor Flav has not finished yet.

Two junior high school teachers in Utah are accused of having sex with the same 13-year-old student. Isn’t that a sign of the bad economy? Teachers cannot afford their own students and now have to share.

A 21-year-old woman accused of kicking an officer Thursday morning reportedly also urinated all over a patrol vehicle. Apparently, she was booked for attacking a police officer and booked for the next R Kelly video.

One third of Americans say they are losing sleep because of the economy. And those are the ones with jobs; they cannot afford to sleep at work anymore because they have to watch their backs all the time to avoid getting fired.

A man was arrested at a Spanish airport after it was found his broken leg was supported by a "cast" made out of cocaine. The police suspected there was something wrong with his leg when they saw Amy Whinehouse humping it like a dog.

A sex patch designed for women has failed to boost their level of desire. The manufacturers will try with a new design that is not likely to fail and will boost the women’s desire. Apparently, they will make the patch resembling a $100 bill.

Federal Communications Commission officials and deputies from the Orange County Sheriff's gang unit busted a pirate radio station they say was reportedly broadcasting information on where to buy drugs. Apparently, instead of the traffic report the station was giving the trafficking report.

Federal Communications Commission officials and deputies from the Orange County Sheriff's gang unit busted a pirate radio station they say was reportedly broadcasting information on where to buy drugs. They suspected there was something unusual with the station because they noticed it would play Amy Winehouse 24/7.

Federal Communications Commission officials and deputies from the Orange County Sheriff's gang unit busted a pirate radio station they say was reportedly broadcasting information on where to buy drugs. They suspected there was something unusual with the station because it had tons of advertisers.

According to a recent survey, nearly four-in-ten Americans have never left the place in which they were born. The other 6 were force to go back because due to the bad economy they have to live with their parents.

Rhianna is back in the recording studio preparing to record her next project. Rumors are, the album is not going to be good; obviously Rhianna doesn’t want another hit.

An escaped prisoner has been arrested in the US state of Georgia after guards caught him trying to sneak back into the jail. Apparently, he got a look at the newspapers and decided he was better off inside.

The economy is so bad, Michael Jackson can’t even afford one glove anymore.

The economy is so bad, I even saw Kevin Federline looking for a job.